Sin in Me, but Not Against Flesh and Blood?

I feel like I'm fighting a battle against myself.  I try to be very "spiritual" about it, but the fact of the matter is "what I do is not the good I ant to do; no, the evil I do not want to do - this I keep on doing."(Rom 7:16-20)

But scripture is clear: "For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places." (Eph. 6:12)

So, what is it?  the sin in me or that evil which is always against us?

I was listening to a song today, the line said: "And to say that the devil made me do it, is a cop-out and a lie.  The devil can't make me do anything when I'm calling on Jesus Christ."

No, it is not me and no it is not the "evil."  Although, both have a strong pull on me - the fact remains that I am human, I live in a sin nature.  I serve the Creator who enables me to make decisions as to whether I go right or left.  His love gives me the choice, His mercy allows me to mess up, His forgiveness takes me back.  My trust and hope must be in Him - if I seek His face, His will, His way, my tendencies and the "evil" working against me will have no stronghold.

"But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed.  Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death.  Do not err, my beloved brethren." (James 1:14-16)

Lust = me

Enticement = evil

Conception = my lustful desire conceding to the enticement

Ok, so I'm a sin-natured human.  OK, so evil is out there wanting my downfall.  BUT, the conception is ONLY when the 2 meet; sin comes ONLY when we allow our selfish desires to be fed by the evil that surrounds us.  What a hope!

I am not yet perfect, nor will I be 'till we rest with Him.  In the meantime, I can rest assured, He is with me, to enable me to "do justly, love mercy and walk humbly" with my G-D. (Micah 6:8)  Let us call on the name of the L-RD to be delivered! (Joel 2:32)

I LOVE MY BABY GIRL!!!

Ok, so that's not news to any of you. But I have just been so blessed by that big-brown-eyed beauty. And being a parent to a beautiful toddler has fringe benefits...like ice-breakers; conversation openers...

Hava is and always has been a people person. But the cool thing about that is she can and does easily open conversations for us with SO MANY perfect strangers. It happens all the time...the grocery store, the mall, the park, the doctor's office....every where, and virtually EVERY TIME I have taken her in public since the day she was born. It happened again today. I won't go into the details, they're probably not that interesting to you, but a very precious thing did happen that I wanted to share.

Hava is not only a people person, but also VERY loving...she will randomly come up to any of us here at home and hug us, or kiss us...I have found her many times, coming up and leaning against my leg and planting one big wet one on my thigh. :o) With this particular stranger today, after warming up and sitting in their lap, with no influence whatsoever, our little 15-month-old turned around and threw her arms around this lady and gave her a huge bear hug...it moved the lady, but it also moved me.

Oh, how I wish I could love people regardless of knowing the good and bad about them. I wish I could walk up and throw my arms around someone and just let them know that they are loved...just let them feel the love of their Creator through a fellow creation. Hava didn't have to say anything, or understand anything...she didn't have to decide if this stranger needed or deserved her love...she just had plenty to share, so she did.

Any mother knows, there is always a slight hesitation when your baby is near a stranger. You don't want to bother them, but you also don't want them to bother your child. You don't want your child to get in their space, but you also want your child to be a blessing. As I watched from the other side of the room, I held back. I just trusted and knew that Hava belonged to G-d before she belonged to me, so He was watching out for her too (not to say I let her just go up to any and everyone)....in a few minutes, the lady was holding Hava in her lap, and looking at her tiny fingers. Hava closed her fingers inside the lady's hand. The stranger said: "See how you're little hand fits right inside mine? That's how we all fit inside Jesus' hand."

I didn't know the lady, and she was older so I wasn't afraid of her. But had I gone with my first instinct to not allow Hava to be a "bother" to her, I would have impeded a moment of blessing for all of us there. Conversation opened up and we shared details of our lives...all because of my little people person.

See why I love her? ;o)

Up All Night

For about the past month, there have been several occasions where I have been awake in the wee hours of the morning. Anyone who knows me knows I sleep...I like to sleep...I sleep a lot! :o) Most of it is actually a physical need after everything medical I have been through. But I also enjoy my sleep...I guess every mother does.

The first few times I was up was with our baby girl. She has been teething (again), and also has had a cold. She ended up sleeping with us quite a few times. But she is back in her bed now and sleeping soundly.

After all that was over, I was still waking up at 2 or 3 am. The first time I really couldn't figure it out. I had a million thoughts flying through my brain and then I realized the L-rd was waking me up. Since we have a big evangelistic project coming up, I have been praying a lot for the souls who are needing Him. The other night, I realized He didn't want me just to pray for them, but to pray for myself....to be prepared for what He might require of me. It kind of scares me...am I ready to give up whatever He asks for the sake of someone else's salvation? I think many wives and mothers can relate...just the thought of losing your family is so overwhelming, that we sometimes relinquish the thought as soon as it comes. At the same time, I am very aware that the L-rd gives, and He takes away. Blessed be His name!

Al and I have been asking by literally DOZENS of people for us to pray specifically for them. There are so many people suffering, it is hard to keep up with all their needs. The night before last, I woke up again and started praying for them. I was up for 2 hours just talking with the L-rd and asking His guidance and protection over us. As my husband slept beside me, and our baby girl in her crib nearby, I felt an overwhelming need to pray for their safety. I don't know exactly what, but I know a lot will be required of us, because we have been given much. (Luke 12:48)

I am not really at any kind of revelation here, but I would love any prayers interceded on our behalf. There is such a big task ahead of us...