Whew, blogging....it is a rarity anymore; a precious gem in the middle of my beautiful, chaotic mess of a life. I love the moment to sit and think and soak and spew. A very dear friend of mine has a most exceptional blog - in my humble opinion, one of the best writing styles I have ever had the pleasure of reading. Yes, Joanna, that would be you! :o) Joanna has come to visit for a bit, and reading her blog has inspired me once again to take a moment (one of the few personal moments granted me) to open up and look inside exposing some self-awareness.
Since my last post, we have had another baby, Levi. He is now 7 months old. Huh - interesting, another 7 months between posts which was again unintentional, but probably not a coincidence again either.
I have to preface what I am going to write with something very important - Hava, my 3 year old daughter is a beautiful creation inside and out. She is a controlled container of unending energy, love and creativity. She is conquering various languages (Portuguese, English, Hebrew and Spanish - probably in that order), expressing her thoughts and feelings through music, movement and art, and intensifying her understanding of and care for the well-being of others. She is my "florzinha" (little flower) and I am a better person and woman having known her and being given the BLESSING of raising her. However, this post is not about her. I only feel the need to give her the rightful first-born place in my thought processes regarding my children.
Although I do NOT believe any selfish hopes, dreams or desires should be projected onto unsuspecting newborns as they are human beings and not meant to be the answers to any questions or resolutions to any problems, still I have to say that in Levi's entrance to this world, besides his very existence he brought a much needed gift with him to our family: peace.
Levi was born with some physical "imperfections," he has since been healed of them, and though that is a testifying story of blessing in and of itself, it is not what defines him. G-D brought Levi to us, to ME, in a very trying time of life (as you can probably tell from my previous posts). Because of this, and probably needless to say, I was a bit nervous about being given the responsibility of parenting a second child. I was uneasy about the added expenses, the difference of personality from my daughter's, the difference of his newborn sleeping and eating schedule and the readjusting of family, work and school schedules. But everything came to the most wonderfully unexpected halt when a porcelain-skinned, blue-eyed, SMILING boy came to rest in my arms. Except for the fact that we knew we were having a boy with some kidney issues by c-section, everything else about his entrance was beautifully surprising, including the peace.
A friend of mine who knows us well and our daughter, when meeting Levi for the first time, looked up at me and said with the most serious, emphatic words: "I have held many babies who are easy and calm - but Levi is different. He IS peace." And pretty much everyone who has met him has said the same thing - they are taken by the twinkle in his gorgeous blue eyes, the fact that he is such a light color and especially his smile. He can play alone marvelously for extended amount of time, ONLY complains if he is hungry, tired, hurting or dirty, and he is able to bring any stressful day where time is flying by to a peaceful pause. He has an uncanny way of looking at me and in a split second making my mind rest, my lungs breathe and my heart smile.
Intellectually speaking, I knew that each child would be different. What I did not expect was to receive through them the very thing I needed most at that moment in time. Hava brought a joy we had never known. She drew (and still draws) people's attention to her physical beauty and charming personality (outside of the sporadic toddler meltdowns). But Levi, although beautiful (have I mentioned the eyes ;)), although intelligent (fully crawling at barely 6 months in comparison with Hava's almost 9 months), and although a calm, fun personality (seriously, the boy smiles 95% of the time), brought peace.
I can't even find the words to describe this peace. It is incredible. It is lovely. It might just be one of the most precious gifts I have ever received. So, here is an excerpt from a prayer I love:
"May there be abundant peace from heaven, and life for us and for all Israel; and say Amen. May He who maketh peace in the heavens, make peace for us and for all Israel; and say Amen."
