Thursday, May 04, 2006

GRADES, GRADES and MORE GRADES

I wasn't smart. I never have been. I was the little girl in the classroom who was sent to the corner for talking too much. But I never really misbehaved. I never really did anything to be noticed, but just enough to be annoying.

I was defiant, not necessarily by action, but definitely by words. By 14, I thought I knew it all, so I would share the depth of my knowledge with the masses. So, I was too good to be given the answers - I thought I had them all.

I had never cheated in my life - but one day, in the sweltering heat, I had to take a math test. My self-teaching books were right beside me. I didn't know the answer, and the only classes I was passing with flying colors were music classes. I needed to pass this test, so mom would get off my back. The instant I started to look up the answer was the instant she came around the corner. I was caught - but I wasn't caught cheating, I was caught not knowing the answer. To me, that was worse than anything else.

I watched myself after that. I had to make sure that I either had enough answers to pass the classes or enough justifications why I wasn't passing. I needed an out so that I would never be wrong.

As we prepared to move back stateside for what was to be my last year of High School, I was asked to take a test to enroll in a private school. My mom was worried I wouldn't pass. I hadn't been an A student since middle school.

It took me a few hours to complete the exam. To everyone's amazement (including my own) I received high scores. I was immediately accepted.

In college, again, I did just enough to get by. I spent most of my time with friends and boyfriends, eating, going to the mall or movies, etc. - The college life. To me, classes and grades were a joke - just life's punchline for our ridicule - so I wasn't going to let it get the best of me - I would go just far enough - I was the epitome of mediocre - and I was ok with that. I was sure it didn't matter to anyone else, so why should it matter to me?
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Colossians 3:23-25 And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the L-rd, and not unto men; Knowing that of the L-rd ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for you serve the L-rd Messiah. But he that doeth wrong shall receive for the wrong which he hath done: and there is no respect of persons.
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